I was asked back in August by @ihaveitchyhands what my thoughts on success was, and since that day the topic has been on my mind multiple times.
First, my instant thought was that success (in crocheting) is that someone pays for my designs. That success must be equivalent to money. The more money – the more success, right?
But then I thought, well that’s not my opinion on success – that’s what I was taught by the society I grew up in. That if I don’t make money on my crochet – or am able to be self-employed then I won’t be successful with my creativity. Well, maybe if I had a huge impact on helping people or ociety on a larger scale.
If the world around us determines when we are successful, will we ever feel successful?
Will it ever be enough? Will we ever settle in just feeling successful right now or will we strive for more success?
Failing instead of succeeding
Back in I August bought a cargo bike because I have a dream of being able to sell my food one day. Today the anxiety hit me, when I – as I do most days – looked out into the parking lot where the bike is chained to a metal pole. I started thinking of all the things missing before I can sell food from it. Or the fact that I’m not even mentally ready to go out into the street and start selling food.
I felt the anxiety of not succeeding, but instead failing with something.
The goal I set for myself is a goal I’ve had for 12 years or more. How can I expect to fullfil that in a couple of months? And won’t I be OK if I don’t reach that goal – if something else comes along? and who know if my goal changes?…
Wanting to create a success in the future
Because I’ve had trouble sleeping the past week, I tried something new the past two days.
Instead of setting the goal “to go to sleep”, I said to myself: “OK, you don’t have to sleep right now. You just have to focus on doing something to relax yourself”
It’s a big leap of faith to just trust the Now, because immediatly a voice comes into my head saying: “But what if you still don’t sleep?”
My inner critic starts to talk when I challenge it.. and I had to challenge it back “So what? at least I will be relaxing and feeling good right now, better to relax than not to relax”
And my sleep improved alot!
So I thought I could transfer the same technique to other places in my life – like the food bike. Maybe I can adjust my goal so I will feel success right now.
The smallest steps creates the biggest success
What if my goal instead of “I want to sell street food” (big goal) was: “To fix up my cargo bike” (small goal).
Hearing those words suddenly made me breathe easier. Because I’m already doing that – whenever I feel like it.
So my conclusion is that success doesn’t have to be a goal far in the future; something that makes us anxious because we notice that we’re still not there yet, something that makes us feel inadequate because we haven’t succeeded in that goal.
What if success can be to comfort ourselves right now in the anticipation anxiety of something we need to handle in the near future?
Or what if success can be to make the first few stitches on a new project that you’ve had in mind for a long time?
The small steps are the biggest steps we can take, because they can make us feel successful right here. That we are enough now.
Success we might have in the future shouldn’t limit us to not experiencing success now!