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When no one is seeing or appreciating your creations

Picture this: you have been working on something, indulging yourself in the process, being so creative and expressive, written, taken photos or videos, editing it, admiring your talents and abilities in the creation process and as soon as you click “post” there is silence.

Maybe you are not getting any response at all. Maybe your work is not being seen enough. Maybe you feel that you drown among all the other amazing posts out there. Maybe no one is liking or only very few. Maybe no one is sharing your work or commenting. It can feel like such an anti-climax to have found so much joy, peace or excitement about something you have created and the world doesn’t seem to notice or appreciate it.

Appreciating yourself & the process

Ask yourself if you are truly appreciating your process, who you are and how amazing it is that you have created this and expressed yourself. Or are you more focused on the physical aspect of finishing something and expecting to get something in return?

First of all it’s natural and healthy to get validation from the world, it’s needed in order for us to feel OK and feel connected and important in the world. It is not to say that it’s enough to care about it yourself – expecting others to care is just as important. But if we only expect others to care and we don’t care ourselves, then it becomes very vulnerable to share because we rely 100% on others opinions – and bear in mind that the response or lack thereof that we get from social media is not a reflection of how worthy we or our creations are.

Practise to really prioritize putting yourself first, notice what it is you love about your creations, who you are and your process. Write a list of everything that is important to you in creating or what it is that is special about you. It doesn’t have to be something extraordinar, but what is it you enjoy about your own creations? If you were a stranger looking from the outside on you and your creations, what are some things they might notice or admire about you? Learn to enjoy the own process, feel the joy and induldge in it, excite yourself and let the posting and social media aspect be a less important part of the process.

Following the social media rules

I think there is importance in doing the things necessary to be seen on social media – even if it means that we still struggle with it. Make sure you are posting regularly or consistently. Posting reels often. Sharing in your story. Making hashtags. Bringing something of value or something people can interact with – like asking a question or for an opinion from people. Are you engaging with other people on social media? sharing other’s work (with no expectation of getting anything in return?)

You are not for everyone, and that’s okay!

First of all it is totally valid to feel insecure, upset or disappointed that you are not getting the recognition that you deserve. Give yourself permission to feel that it sucks and that you don’t have to accept that this is the fact.
Second of all, start challenging the beliefs that just because people don’t seem to like or interact with your creations doesn’t mean that they don’t like it.

Of course there will always be people who don’t like you or your work – not everyone is for everyone. Even the most talented people in the world, the most successful people in the world still have haters or people who simply don’t like to follow along. That doesn’t mean something is wrong with any of these people – it just means we are all different and on social media we all look for something in particular.

You matter, you are worthy & your creations are valuable

Maybe you have not yet found your crowd – the people that really value what you have to share. Maybe they don’t know you exist yet. That is not to say that you need to necessarily make yourself even more visible – maybe it is just timing, maybe it takes a while to be noticed.

I want to challenge you to visualise that there are people out there that have not found you yet. People that are looking for someone exactly like you; with your approach and your creations. Someone who thinks “YES finally! someone whose posts I can’t get enough of, where I get so excited everytime I see a post from them!”. Think about someone you like to follow – and imagine that someone could feel that way about you too! Maybe there already is someone.


Embrace the fact that no one cares

Unfortunately we also tend to focus on everything that we lack – all the likes we didn’t get (compared to that profile that gets hundreds or thoudsands of likes), all the people that doesn’t support us, all the followers we don’t have.
Even if you only got 1 like – even if you like me have multiple profiles and the 1 like is from yourself – so what?

If no one else cares, make it priority that you care. Practise to embrace the emptiness, the silence, the cold shoulder you get when you feel like no one cares if you post or not, no one cares what you have to say or share or no one finds you interesting.

It can be a positive too! If no one cares you can do whatever you want. Post 10 times a day. Post photos with bad lighting or low quality. Screw the social media rules and do whatever you want with it. Be “too much”. Be a healthy narcissist; post photos you love and write a caption about why you love it so much. Care less about getting others to engage or respond to you and focus more on indulging in your own process, your own worth, your own desires, your own passions – why YOU love it so much. Learn to say: “So what if no one cares?” more often.

At least if you care enough yourself, you will also eventually attract people that appreciate you, that benefit from the way you are in the world and on social media.

When it comes to creating I am not interested in creating for other people. I am interested in making something that I like to make. Maybe that won’t benefit me in return but at least I am staying true to my process. It is a priority – do I want lots of responses and make something I don’t care about or do I want little response and make something I care about?



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When Crocheting Turns Toxic

NOTICING THE SIGNS…

If you are like me, crocheting can turn into a stressful activity and make you get stuck in your head, drifting away from the present moment and out of your body – this can lead to dissociating where you shut down your body and emotions, feel numb, lose track of time and neglect doing other things during the day because crocheting takes up everything.

Dissociating can be good in smaller doses and it is something most people recognise – have you ever read a book and drifted totally away from your life and into this story? But if it happens too much or all the time it can lead to feeling disconnected and losing touch with yourself and even forgetting to breathe.

For me not being present when crocheting looks like this:


– Thinking about how the item is gonna look
– Forgetting to breathe
– Fixating on visualizing putting on the item/ weaving in the last end/making the last stitch
– Thinking about where to take photos, what to wear with the item
– Crocheting way too fast to reach the goal quicker
– Worrying about wheter or not the item will look good/fit
– Neglecting other areas like eating, drinking, bathroom breaks, socializing or even personal hygiene.

It’s not that it’s bad to sometimes think or act in this way. Visualizing and having a goal is also important, but when it takes over it can turn crocheting into something toxic and even an addiction.

But often this overwhelms me with all the things that needs to be done to get the item done, I’ll become too fixated on finishing the project rather than being present, being in the Now – and therefore be mindful about the process.


IT’S NOT ENOUGH, SO I RUSH.

My problem is that I get a feeling of urgency, I feel that was is here now is not enough, I think that it will be better once I’m done with the project. And I feel this lingering feeling of not having enough hours in the day, I am behing and time is running out for me, so I rush.

Then today while sitting with my crochet and thinking these thoughts I looked over at my herb table where I have planted seeds in soil. No sprouts are visible. I started to think, that I can focus on watering the soil and giving it enough sunlight – focus on the need of the seeds day by day, or I could get fixated on the future — when the herb table is filled with green herbs. Then I thought, but then you’ll pick the herbs – and then there will be no more herbs left, the soil will be empty again – no seeds and no sprouts and I’ll have to sow again and it all starts over. And I could see how this related to my crocheting and addiction to it and to always being one step ahead, not really enjoying the Now.


UNDERSTANDING THE CAUSE


Being constantly in the future prevents me from living. It tells me that something better is just around the corner. The same phenomenon happens when I go into a PTSD flashback, just the other way around; I feel that danger is lurking around every corner and I can’t be present.

I like to notice why I’m having difficulty being present. Writing this now is an attempt to do just that – be present about why I can’t be present today. Notice what I feel and why I might feel that way.

Often it stems from feeling of mistrust and uncertainty about me and my life, so drifting off into the future becomes an escape into “something better”, where the tasks are done, the kitchen is clean, my hair is washed, my bank account has more money etc.

CAN BE A TRAUMA SYMPTOM

Escaping into the future can be a life saver if you have experienced trauma, this is what saves you, if something bad is happening to you and the pain of being in the moment is worth than dying. Then it’s a relief to drift away in your mind, to avoid experiencing the pain in the present.

Mindfulness and being present can’t be forced. You can’t do anything to become mindful, it’s actually more about not doing.

If you’re doing a lot, racing through your projects, thinking ahead all the time, rushing around and trying to reach the finish line, you’ll continue to race. Because it’s not about the things and the race, it’s because of something happening right now that you are fleeing from. But know, that it’s okay to flee, understanding the “why” is so crucial in both being aware of what is happening and being able to change it.

When I can’t see a clear cause to my stress I notice that it’s just because that’s what my brain has been taught – even though there is no danger in the present. I have been used to driving on a road of fear and stress and it’s what it has known most. I need to create another road aswell, a road of more peace and being, so I have a contrast to the old road.



LEARNING TO TAKE MY TIME
Sometimes I just need to put the work away to do (or not do) something else completely. Brew some tea, watch a comedy series, go for a walk, breathe. I think it is also about appreciating what is here and now – even if what is here and now is an unfinished project. Think about maybe sharing your unfinished project and romanticizing the process more than the product.

Today I’m practising to tell myself “There is nothing to do”. Everything that is happening or that “needs to get done” will get done in its own, I can’t force it – well I can, but I won’t like it. I’m enough and I’ve done enough.

And sometimes it’s my fear talking, it’s the fear of not earning enough money to provide for myself, the fear of being forced to do a regular job that will slowly kill me, the fear of being trapped in an enviornement that is not good for me.
I sometimes think, that if I can just do and do at 200 km/h, then I can relax for a few days.

No! I can relax and still earn money. Just as the days I’ve been the most productive I don’t sell a single product. And yes it’s uncertain and I don’t know how the future will look, and that’s okay. I can take my time, I have time, I don’t need to rush, I’m enough. I’m really enough.


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Kan man leve af at hækle?

Ja! Du behøver ikke have taget kurser, have erfaring med at drive virksomhed eller have hæklet i adskillige år, for at starte en hæklevirksomhed. Jeg plejer at sige, at hvis jeg kan, så kan du også.

MIN BEGYNDELSE


Da jeg startede, var jeg slet ikke klar over at man kunne tjene penge på at hækle. Jeg husker en af de allerførste opslag jeg lavede på Instagram, hvor en fremmed kvinde skrev og spurgte om hun kunne bestille sådan en top. Langsomt begyndte det at gå op for mig, at det faktisk var muligt at tjene penge på.

Når det kommer til hækling er der også mange forskellige måder at tjene penge på det på. Det afhænger både af hvad du er god til, hvad du kan lide at lave og hvad andre er villige til at betale for.

Sommetider skal du være i gang i lidt tid, for at opdage hvad folk er interesserede i og hvad du er god til og andre gange vil folk kontakte dig direkte og fortælle dig, hvad de vil have.

FIND UD AF HVAD DU KAN, HVAD DU VIL & HVAD ANDRE VIL BETALE FOR


Kan du lide at designe noget som en kunde bestiller dig til? Vil du hellere selv bestemme den kreative proces? Vil du skabe fysiske produkter og sælge dem eller lave produkter på bestilling? Eller vil du lave digitale produkter som fx opskrifter eller kurser?

Når du har fundet ud af det område du ønsker at arbejde i, så skær processen ned til mindre dele – hvad indebærer det – skridt for skridt. Hvilke opgaver kan du lide og er god til? Hvilke opgaver bryder du dig mindre om? Det er vigtigt at forstå dine egne begrænsninger og talenter, så du har overbliuk over det.

Måske vil du samarbejde med andre hæklere, fx designe for dem eller hækle for dem eller skrive deres opskrifter? Hvad er det for et slags arbejde du ønsker at skabe for dig selv? Skriv det hele ned, skriv alle dine ønsker og behov ned, og alt det som afholder dig fra det. Det er okay at bede andre om hjælp også, og det er okay at sige nej til noget, som du ikke vil eller kan finde ud af. Forvent ikke at du skal kunne det hele og kunne lide det hele, vi hara alle styrker og svagheder.

SKÆR NED PÅ UDGIFTER


Hvis du ligesom mig synes, at det allervigtigste er at være selvstændig, så tror jeg også du er villig til at ofre nogle ting for det. For mig har friheden i at have mit eget job, været meget højere end ønsket om at rejse, shoppe meget eller gå i byen. Men hvis det ikke er så vigtigt for dig at blive selvstændig, men du hellere bare vil tjene lidt ved siden af, så kan du sagtens fortsætte din livsstil og stadig tjene lidt ved at hækle på deltid.

Jeg er heldig at jeg ikke kun kan leve meget billigt, men at jeg også skaber produkter, som ikke koster mig særlig meget. Det koster mig ikke penge at lave en opskrift og eksportere den til en pdf-fil. Jeg bruger et gratis skriveprogram og det garn jeg bruger til at lave designs med, det bliver enten til et produkt jeg kan sælge eller bruge eller også piller jeg det op og skaber noget nyt.

SAMARBEJDE MED GARNFORHANDLERE & INFLUENCERE

Hvis du har cirka 1.000 følgere på dine sociale medier, kan det godt betale sig at tage kontakt til en garnforhandler.

Meget af mit garn har jeg også købt i genbrug til en billig penge og ellers har jeg indgået nogle sponsorsamarbejder med garnforhandlere, som har sendt mig gratis garn i modbetaling til at jeg deler billeder med det, jeg har kreeret. Når du sender sådan en mail, så hav fokus på hvad du kan bidrage med. Fortæl hvem og hvor dine følgere er fra, fortæl hvilke slags opslag du har tænkt dig at lave og hvordan de kan forvente at få flere kunder igennem dine opslag.

Du kan også oprette en profil på partner-ads.com. Det er gratis og her kan du ansøge om at bruge reklamelinks på din side. Hvis folk klikker på linket og køber noget igennem det, får du en procentdel af salget.

En sidste god idé er at indgå samarbejder med influencere – afhængig af hvilket slags arbejde du laver, så er det en god idé at finde en influencer med følgere som kunne være potentielle kunder. Hvis du sælger fysiske produkter, så find en influencer der passer din stil. Hvis det er opskrifter du sælger, så find en influencer, som har følgere der også kan lide at hækle.


OVERVEJ OM DU KAN TILBYDE ANDRE PRODUKTER

Det er vigtigt at huske, at du ikke behøver at holde dig til ét område, hvis du også brænder for noget andet. Fx kan du lave e-bøger, kurser, lydoptagelser eller videoer som du kan tage penge for. Tænk over hvad du er god til og hvad du kan bidrage med og samtidig hvad andre er interesserede i at betale for. Husk at værdsætte din egen viden og input – du er og kan noget specielt og det er penge værd.

Det kan også være du vil noget helt andet – fx lave en hækleworkshop eller være mentor for andre hæklere.

HVORDAN TJENER JEG PENGE?

I starten, da jeg ikke kunne leve af det endnu, tjente jeg penge på at hækle toppe på bestilling. Da jeg stadig var ret ukendt, kunne jeg ikke få en særlig fair pris for mine produkter og jeg måtte gentagne gange lave opslag omkring produktionen, for at minde folk om at det tager tid at producere håndlavet tøj. Entop der tog mig 6-7 timer at hækle (uden pauser), fik jeg 400 kr for. Så var der også levering oveni og prisen for garnet. Det kunne ikke betale sig i længden.

Min plan var egentlig at fortsætte med det, fordi jeg ikke var interesseret i at skrive opskrifter. Men med tiden så jeg, at der var færre der bestilte og flere der eftersprugte opskrifter, så derfor besluttede jeg mig for at skabe opskrifter, selvom jeg faktisk ikke brød mig om at skulle det – med tiden begyndte jeg ikke kun at kunne lide det men også opdage, at jeg var rigtig god til det.

FINDE BALANCEN


Alt hvad du laver i din virksomhed, kan ikke være lige sjovt. Noget kan du være rigtig god til, men ikke synes er særlig sjovt. Noget andet kan du synes er rigtigt sjovt, men er ikke særlig god til. Det er meget naturligt, at vores styrker og svagheder ligger forskellige steder. Det er også okay, at bede andre om hjælp og det er også okay at lave noget som du ikke synes er ligeså sjovt som det andet og det er også okay at sige nej til at lave noget!

Find ud af, om det er det værd. Hvis du kan tjene penge på at lave noget, som er nemt for dig eller som du er god til, så betyder det måske ikke så meget om du synes det altid er lige sjovt – hvis du tilgengæld får noget igen!

Hvis du decideret ikke kan udstå noget, er det måske en god idé at lægge fokus et andet sted.

TIL SIDST


For at kunne leve af at hækle, er det vigtigt at finde en balance mellem det du kan, det du kan lide og det andre vil betale for. Det er vigtigt, at hvis en opgave føles overvældende for dig, så husk at sæt en grænse. Sig ikke bare ja, fordi nogen er villig til at betale dig for det.

Og husk, at bliv ved med at mød dig selv i det, du kan lide – giv dig selv lang snor – både til at udforske de ting du kan lide, men også at prøve nye ting af. Samtidig, mød andre med et åbent sind, lyt til deres feedback, deres ønsker, deres idéer – hvem ved, måske vil du blive overrasket!


Husk at du altid er velkommen til at skrive til mig, hvis du har brug for hjælp på din hæklerejse. Du kan også finde min e-bog der beskriver mere i detaljer, hvordan du kan skabe dit eget job. Læs den her.

Du kan også læse mere om min rejse fra arbejdsløs på kontanthjælp med ptsd, kronisk angst og stress til selvstændig i min egen virksomhed lige her.






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My Self-Employment Journey – How I Created My Own Job While Dealing with PTSD

THE BEGINNING OF MY SELF-EMPLOYMENT JOURNEY


Let’s rewind to October 2018. I had been studying to become a social and health care assistant for 2 months and had tried to balance a normal life as a student while dealing with PTSD – meaning being in constant high alert.

I was exhausted all the time from never being able to relax. One day felt like a week and I knew that if I had to continue studying I would also have to do intern work full time for 1,5 years and I just realised that I couldn’t take 3,5 years of that.

MY PTSD-SYMPTOMS

Being in constant high alert for me meant having a racing heart, being hypervigilant – always being aware of my surroundings, being hyper sensitive to other people’s actions, words, facial expressions, tone of voice and body language, sweating and blushing if someone just approached me, feeling a sense of doom around every corner – that something would give me a huge shock which would send me over the edge. It felt like having a gun pointed to my head all the time, not being able to breathe freely or relax, feeling in constant danger.

At the same time I had flashbacks every day. Often a teacher would forget about me and I was sent right back into childhood and felt so shameful, that the whole world hated me and I was unlovable which made me feel more unsafe.

At the same time it was like I had another life on the side (crocheting and selling crochet tops), that was more interesting, fun and filled with freedom – but a life that I thought to myself would always be an illusion, something unattainable and unimaginable for me.

TRYING TO FIT IN


I thought that I would have to live a normal life – work a full time job somewhere so I could provide for my children, go traveling, buy a house etc. Then I realised I actually didn’t want children, that I was happy about living in my tiny apartment and not owning my own place and didn’t feel a need to go traveling.

I just wanted to feel safe and I was happy by the thought of just earning enough to get by and feel relaxed. But it felt like my small expectations of freedom and relaxation were still not possible.

Even working 10-15 hours a week would still mean I had to be in constant stress to earn money to pay my bills. Just the thought of earning money was so stressful to me.

BEING GASLIGHTED BY THE SYSTEM

During the next 10 months – from October 2018 to August 2019 I was unemployed.

I was broken down, but I still had to fight the battle alone – the battle of authorities not taking my mental health serious and just wanting to get me through the system as fast as possible – into any job (even if that would mean I would then break down again and get back into the system again). It felt like screaming into an empty corridor only hearing my own voice echo back. No response, no empathy, no belief in me.

I had heard of so many people experiencing the exact same thing as me. If you didn’t look depressed, anxious or suicidal then you were not.

Imagine how traumatic this is when you have been dealing with being gaslighted your whole life and then the authorities that were suppossed to help you just continue the gaslighting.

BEING IN THE SYSTEM WORSENED MY PTSD

In the end just stepping into the job center to have my weekly meeting with a social worker I would sit with the hands over my head and my thumbs pressed into my ears to block out any sound or light.

I learned to be completely inside myself, because I knew that no matter how much I tried no one believed my symptoms were serious and that I needed their help. I had to change to become a person without PTSD, instead of them helping me find a place to work where my PTSD wouldn’t get so triggered.

I couldn’t imagine a life in freedom but I also couldn’t imagine a life in panic.

I WOULD RATHER BE POOR, IF IN RETURN I CAN BE FREE

So what drove me into self-employment?

It was the unbearable thought of living a life in fear and stress, controlled by authorities who didn’t care about my well-being. I would much rather not be able to pay my bills or not get food on the table, and then at least have my freedom, be my own authority.

I had to actually think: “what is the worst thing that could happen?” . The answer: “homelessness and starving”. And that sounded more appealing to me than being in a state of panic and hypervigilance.

The physical stuff didn’t scare me as much as everything I had already experienced.

Quitting welfare and going full time as a crochet designer was one of the easiest things I had done in my life, because everything else seemed even more impossible.

Choosing a life of self-employment and freedom was uncertain and something I had never done before – so at least I had to try it to see if it was possible, because I knew that a life in fear and stress would eventually kill me.

I had no other option left, there was no way back.

GETTING OUT OF THE SYSTEM FOR THE LAST TIME

In my last phone call with my social worker I laughed ironically while I told him “I might just move into a tent and create my own job” (though I didn’t actually mean or believe it).

So I quit welfare the 1st of August 2019 and somehow I knew that this would be the last time I would be in the system.

I was relieved but afraid because I didn’t believe that I would be able to earn enough money from crochet to make a living off it.

I had lived with as little as possible the past months so I had a little bit of money saved up that I could live off and I still had my part time job as a blind assistant but I usually only worked 2-5 hours a month. Though having a safety net helped the fear a lot.

ADJUSTING TO A LIFE OF FREEDOM

The first many months in freedom I still woke up every morning in panic (as I had done every day for the past many years) because I thought I had to be somewhere where I would be in constant high alert and fighting to be understood. I still couldn’t understand I was free of it.

All that time (in the system, in jobs, in school, in relationships) where I had worsened my PTSD and given me another layer of trauma to deal with.

I was finally free and there was a a great deal of relaxation but my brain and body was still reacting like I was a captive in my own life.

LIVING CHEAPLY

I started dumpster diving for food and I cut down all my expenses – no wifi, no streaming services, no money for any kind of unnecessary things. I only spent money on food and bills.

Six months went by and I had earned about 1/4 less than over the Summer, which meant if I put it all together I would have enough to pay my bills and food for maybe 1 month. So I was getting a little frightened and it was winter so not a lot of demand on Summer clothes either.

LEARNING TO MAKE & SELL PATTERNS

Gradually I started getting demands on the patterns for my designs so I started looking up crochet patterns online to see how the layout was and how they were written. And I tried to freestyle my way through it. I thought to myself: “How would I want to read a pattern?”. So basically I wrote a pattern for myself that I would then create a listing for on Etsy.

I upgraded my website subscription so I could start selling phsyical and digital items there as well. Suddenly I got a holiday pay that was bigger than I had expected and my friend out of the blue gave me money because her holiday pay was a lot bigger than mine.

I started having more and more money on my account and realised I wasn’t using my savings anymore. I suddenly had more more money than I needed to get by.

As the patterns started to sell more and more and my website got more and more visitors I started to feel that this might actually be possible. In August 2020 I officially became a registrered business – I had applied the year before but I closed it again immediately because I didn’t believe it would work out.

TODAY

The past 10 monts I have earned more than any other job I have ever had.

It’s hard to understand and I pinch myself everyday.
I don’t wake up with a panic attack (unless I have had bad night). I feel relaxed throughout my day, even though I still struggle with PTSD, anxiety, depression and shame.

I am living the life I couldn’t even imagine – a life of freedom, relaxation, empathy and joy. With time and space for my healing process. Where I can respect my own boundaries, be my own authority, not minimise my symptoms and share what I learned with all of you.

When I look back at just 6 months ago I believe much more in myself and my abilities. I very rarely have the thought that “This won’t work out”, which I had everyday when I first started out.

It’s not just because it’s actually going well (because even though it’s going well I can still have doubts and fear for the future — will it last?), it’s more because I am actually living a life more in harmony with my values, needs and wants.

I am giving myself the life I deserve and seeing how it’s making me more and more comfortable in myself and in my life is giving me a greater sense of trust and belief in myself and the world.

I don’t have the same obsession about the future and wheter or not I will continue to do this kind of work or not. I try and focus on the here-and-now and do the things I enjoy doing on this particular day.
If at some point I want to do other things, like work as a chef, open a café, work therapeutically with other people, be a mentor or musician I have trust.

Because if I could do the unimaginable, I can do anything!

I feel extremely proud of myself and where I have come and so grateful for everyone of you who has been there by my side during this whole process. Those who have bought my digital or physical products, tagged me, sent me photos, reposted/liked/commented/read my posts and written to me and shared your own story.

Thank you for believing in me when I didn’t.

A FINISHING THOUGHT

I don’t believe the saying “believe in your dreams and they will come true”.
Yes, our thoughts have impact but what if we don’t believe? Can we only start living once we start to believe?
The other day in a feeling of hopelessness I was reminded that:

Just because you lose all hope, doesn’t mean that no good will come to you.

What if believing in ourselves comes from the process and experience of listening, being aware and showing ourselves patience and comfort even when we don’t believe?

So if you doubt yourself, don’t feel good enough, don’t feel ready, don’t have a support system, have been hurt too much in the past, fear that it will only go downhill – it’s okay.

Your life doesn’t require you to be fearless.
Your life doesn’t require you to believe, imagine or visualize something for it to become a reality.

Start now – do what makes you happy, enjoy your passion, take your time, go in your own pace.
Wanting something and going after it is enough for it to come true!

And if all else fails, just know:
I believe in you. There is a way, a place for you too.

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Why Being a Selfish Crocheter Can Help You

What do I mean by that?

Well, creating something for yourself, crocheting an item just for you, can help you slow down. On the other hand, focusing too much on the external factors, others approval, crocheting the “right” way and being in a rush to finish a crochet project can become stressful.

So let’s dive into how crocheting can be a stressor and how we can use it to slow down instead:

Get the crochet pattern for Zoey top and learn how to crochet this cute and simple ribbed top, click here.

Being in a rush

Sometimes I notice how I rush to get ”somewhere”.

I am in a hurry to finish projects, because I falsely believe that my work is not good enough, so I shouldn’t take my time with it – it’s better to get it over with so I can get to the next step where I will do and be better than before.

In that state the present is never enough.

I am too hard on myself, judging myself for not doing it good enough and judging myself for rushing and not taking my time. Because I know that I am good enough, but in that moment I am out of touch with myself and the truth.

I feel behind in life and in my creations. I feel that I am not good enough and therefore I have to catch up with everything I have not yet done. I have to reach every goal I have not yet reached, so I can feel good enough in the present moment. But it makes no sense as I am abandoning the present moment to be somewhere else that is not here. Be stuck in my mind and in the future and in my worrying.

A to-do list that never ends

Get the crochet pattern for Belle dress and learn how to crochet a romantic and reversible wrap dress, click here.

It feels like I’m in a race with myself. I am on negative 100 and have to rush mentally just get to zero.

It feels like having a whole list of to-do’s and everytime I cross off something, 10 more things appear. And no matter how much I do, crochet or rush the feeling of inadequacy just becomes worse and worse.

Sometimes I find myself getting annoyed about how many ideas I have in mind because I feel like I’m out of time – that if I had to create all of that I wouldn’t sleep, eat or do anything else for the rest of my life. It feels exhausting.

Enjoying the unfinished projects

Get the free crochet pattern for this bag and learn how to crochet a granny square bag for free, click here.


Then this morning I noticed something. I noticed the dress I have been working on for weeks that I have never felt rushed with and the items that are finished, yet I haven’t even woven in the ends – and I don’t care!

I don’t mind having unfinished projects and taking my time when I feel the intention to crochet and create arises from me. Authentically. Without expectations from the outside world.

I am practising telling myself:
I am enough.
I have enough.
I don’t need to do more, to be okay, worthy or successful.
I don’t need the things I create.
I have and am enough right now.


I create because I want to, not because I need to.
I create for myself, not for others.

When my focus is outwards on the world and what I think is expected of me it will never be enough – because there will always be a need out there, there will always be expectations but it’s not my job to please others, do it the “right” way, post the right things at the right time, create the “right” things at the right time.

The need to rush comes from fear.

I get scared that I won’t be able to continue to create for a living, that what I create will not be enough to pay the bills. I always thought the worst part about having a creative job was not creating or having ideas enough but it’s the opposite. The challenge for me is to tell myself that it is enough; that I will still be able to pay my bills even if I create less.

Being a selfish crocheter

Get the crochet pattern for Zoey top and learn how to crochet a simple, ribbed camisole, click here.

When I focus on crocheting for myself I feel my body breathe deeper, I feel more settled, more trusting of myself and my path, because I am here now, and there is not anywhere I need to get to.

Everything happens right now, my ability to sense, create, be present, grow, find safety and slow down – nothing ever happens in the future. It happens now.

Therefore I can’t rush to get somewhere because there is no “there” there. I am not rushing to get somewhere I am rushing because I falsely think that it will make me feel less stressed, incapable and inadequate when in reality rushing makes me feel all those things.

So this is a reminder for me, and for you, to do and be right now from the intention that arises right now inside of you.

Be with that. Create with that. Slow down with that.

Create for you, live for you.

Get the crochet shorts course here.









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How Much to Pay Yourself

What kind of work are you doing?

ACTIVE WORK
You are selling physical items or actively participating in every sale that you make.

Example: custom made or ready-made products, coaching/mentoring, sponsored posts

PASSIVE WORK
You make the work once and then the item can be sold again and again automatically without you actively doing anything.

Example: patterns, e-books, videos, courses, affiliate links

Is this your part time or full time job ?

There is a big difference in what you need and what you want to earn.

If this is your full time job you might both have the time and energy to focus on your job and therefore be able to make more money. But if it’s just a part time job and you don’t depend on it, you can work less (and work when you want to) and therefore you don’t need to earn that much.

If you are in-between and you want to make this your living, my advice is to keep your other job so you know that you can pay your bills – if you are able to go down in hours so you just earn what you need, then you can spend the free time you have on your own business but still be able to take it slow and do it your way.

How much to pay yourself

Penge, Card, Forretning, Kreditkort, Betale, Shopping

Example:
Money: You need/are satisfied with 175 euro per week – 700 euro per month.
Time: You want/are able to work 40 hours a week – 160 hours a month.
Your hourly rate: 175/40 = 4,3 euro

HOW MUCH THE PRODUCT HAS TO COST
Let’s say you can make 10 active products a month.

700/10 = 70

That means that your product has to cost 70 euro.

HOW MANY PRODUCTS YOU HAVE TO SELL
Let’s say a passive product costs 5 euro.

700/5 = 140

That means you have to sell 140 passive items a month to earn 700 euro.

How to price your products

Option 1.
You can look at all the individual factors regarding the product and then calculate how much that is.

TIME
– How much time did you spend making the item (and how much do you want to pay yourself an hour)?
MONEY
– How much money did you spend on materials?

You spent 15 hours. You pay yourself 4,3 euro per hour. The materials cost 10 euro.
15×4,3
+ 10 = 74,5

75,55 euro is what the product should cost.

Option 2.
Forget about the time and money spent and instead find a fixed price for that item.

TIME/MONEY/ENERGY

– How much time, money and energy did you spend on this product? Is this a product you made as a “test design” where you were just playing around?
QUALITY
– How is the quality of the product and materials? Is the work kind of slobby or is it done with a lot of effort and precision?
OBJECTIVELY
– If you saw this in a shop, how much would you pay for it?

What amount do you think is fair when keeping these factors in mind?

Custom made or ready-made products

In my opinion custom made and ready-made items should be priced differently as there is much more work going into custom made products.

CUSTOM MADE
– communicating back and forth with customer
– working with their specific measurements
– making the item in the color, material and style that the customer want
– pricing can be difficult as the item may take longer for some customers than others
– the customer doesn’t exactly know what they get before they receive the item – this can cause uncertainty and stress for both creator and customer

READY-MADE
– the product is already made in the color, material and size
– in the listing you can state all the details about the product – this way the customers knows what they get
– easy to price as you can just determine from the time, material or quality how much you think it’s worth

Setting a goal

It’s a good idea to have a goal in mind – what is your goal – how much do you want to earn and how much do you want to work? Even though it might seem unrealistic right now it’s good to have an idea about where you want to be so you can move towards that.

Final thoughts

Only you can decide what your time and effort is worth. Only you can decide what your hourly rate looks like and how many hours to work.

If you don’t want to work that much then that’s just perfect, there will always be people out there willing to pay a good price for your work. Remember to pick the customers that value you and your work.

There is no recipe on how to do it right. If you want to sell your items cheaply, then do that!

We are all different and the most important thing we can do is stay true to ourselves and what is important to us.












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What to Do if Someone Copies Your Work

We can’t help but be inspired by each other (even unconsiously). We can’t help but sometimes coincidentally getting the same idea as someone else, or seeing another creator make a design that we ourselves had in mind.

Mirabel top and necklace by FlurJewellery

There is a big difference in finding inspiration and copying, I think copying is okay when:

1) Asking permission from the designer
If you have been in contact with the designer and asked if you can recreate their work and they said yes!

2) Mentioning and tagging the designer
If you are not are to ask permission then at least mention or tag the designer or write in the caption: “Design by…” or “Inspired by…”. This way people seeing the design will know who made it.

Mirabel top

THE PROBLEM WITH COPYING (AND NOT GIVING CREDIT)

Imagine there is a creator that has made a unique design. One of their followers recreate this design and post photos of the creation on their social media (without any credit).

The people following this person see this and have no idea where the design originated from. These people might then either repost the photo or recreate the design for themselves, and suddenly the designer is forgotten all because 1 person didn’t credit.

The same goes if you recreate another’s design and sell the design to a customer. If the creator doesn’t give credit to the designer, the customer of the creator will only give credit to the creator, this way when we are at the 3rd or 4th or 5th link people will have forgotten all about the person who actually designed the item.

The person who is recreating or copying the design is responsible for mentioning the desginer (and also giving this information to their followers/customers so they can give credit too). This is so important to protect the work of the designer, this way people will be able to find their way to the source of the copied design and the desginer gets the credit they deserve.
Yes, you made their design and you did it beautifully – but someone else got the idea, made the drawing, pattern writing, measuring, trial and error and they deserve the credit.

This is also important when you make another creators design from pattern – mention or tag the pattern designer so people will know who the designer is!

Think about big brands like H&M – the only time you really hear about the designer is when celebrities design a collection. The designers working behind the facade you never hear about. Neither do you hear about the factory workers creating the clothes. It’s so important that we all get the credit we deserve.

It makes me so happy when I see someone post a creator’s work and also mention the designer! This is only possible if the creator mentions the designer too, let us make sure that at least the 3rd link from the designer knows who the designer is!

WHAT TO DO IF SOMEONE STEALS YOUR WORK


I’m not gonna say “see it as a compliment! your work is so good, that people are recreating it!”. I hate that, I’m not gonna appreciate someone crossing my boundary. I’ll take is as appreciation when they credit me. Let me just say this: it’s not embarassing to mention that you copied/recreated/were inspired by someone else – we all are! better to say it too much than not enough. We won’t be mad for you tagging us all the time, on the contrary! it’s a win-win – it’s nice to be appreciated and to appreciate others.

1) Leave it

If you don’t care about it, just leave it and focus your energy elsewhere. We can’t avoid copy cats completely.

2) Reach out

You don’t have to be rude or get mad at them (maybe they didn’t intend to copy your work or maybe it’s a coincidence), but a simple: “Were you inspired by my design?” or “I just want to let you know that if you we inspired by my design it would be great if you would mention/tag me”.

3) Create more
See it as a motivation to just create more designs – maybe create something SO unique and special that whenever someone copies your work most will know that you’re the designer.

4) Get design protection
It’s expensive in Denmark and needs to be done with every design, but if you want the extra protection it can be a good idea. This way no one can make or sell your designs and you can take legal action if they do so.

5) Ask for support
Reach out to your followers or family/friends or post a story or photo in your feed about your experiences. Many people will relate and want to support you!

6) Copy cats won’t have success
Relying on others work for success, relying on other’s creativity and hard work and not coming up with idea or being creative yourself? So sad!
The worst is the people who try to get appreciated for making someone else’s work, I find it so selfish and mean, that some people won’t even admit they have copied another’s work, because they’re so desperate to be liked themselves. If you are getting likes and compliments for copying another persons hard work, then that must mean that the designer did a great job – so why not compliment them by giving them credit?

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How to Start a Crochet Business from Scratch

Do you have a dream of becoming a self-employed crocheter? Are you unsure of how and where to start?
Then continue reading!

You can also get my e-book that focuses on earning money from your craft and create your own job. Buy my e-book here.


I’ve been self-employed for almost 16 months. I spent years before going full time just spending time practising my skills, posting to Instagram and sketching. But it took me 8-9 months from when I decided to go self-employed to being able to live off my income.


1. Crochet every day or as often as you can

Spend your free time crocheting, experimenting, practising and honing your skills, read books and magazines, go online, take photos of your process and finished products.

2. Have a savings account or a part time job on the side.

This way you can focus most of your time on your business but still make sure you get money to pay your bills.

3. Research the crochet market


What are other crocheters doing? What are they’re prices and who are their customers? What do they post on social media?

4. Use social media.

We’re so lucky we have social media to spread our message across continents. Use hashtag to describe what kind of work you do, follow and interact with other crocheters in the same field as yours and post consistently.

5. Define your brand.

How are you working – what’s your inspiration, what kind of work do you like to do in that field?

6. Work with other people.

Find other people in the same field as you or someone who you feel you can work with to help each other get more customers or just get your name out there.

7. Hang up flyers at your local library or reach out to a local newspaper.

You can try and get your name out there in your town or local area.

8. Continue to do what you love.

Even though you are not making any money it will happen for you eventually. It doesn’t mean that you have to break yourself and work 70 hours a week to reach that goal. It takes time and hard work but remember to stay true to your work and take breaks as well so you don’t wear yourself out.

9. Cut down your expenses

The fastest way to make a living from crocheting is to cut down all unnecessary expenses. The less bills to pay the less you need to earn to make a living.


Ideas on how to earn money on your crochet:


– start a youtube channel
– make an online or in-person crochet course
– post videos to Youtube, photos to Instagram
– crochet online or in person
– write an e-book, patterns or sell video tutorials
– start a blog where you share your knowledge
– sell your ready made or custom made products

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10 Reminders If You As Creator Are Dealing With Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem can affect all of us – whether or not we’ve sold none or hundreds of products.

It can hit us when we’re doubting our creations and whether or not we (and our work) is good enough.


I struggle with low self-esteem most of the time, both when creating a handmade piece, taking and posting photos, selling items and making patterns. But it’s getting better day by day. I often doubt whether or not I’m doing it “right” and “to the standard”.

When I dig deeper it’s actually not the fear of having flaws but the fear of someone getting mad at me for not doing my job perfect – or just doing it better. I was used to having a mother who would yell and scream over the tinyiest things, and I was always blamed for something that I hadn’t even done.

Linking my fears and insecurities to the way I was treated as a child helps me to understand what and why I fear and how I can help myself.

_____________________

We have one of the most freeing jobs out there, where we can work when and how we want – there are no rules in crafting. There are no standards that determine what is “good enough”. We determine that ourselves.

If we can be proud about our work even though it has flaws, we’ve taken a big step.



Here are 10 reminders for you if you ever feel not good enough:

  1. It’s not black and white. It’s possible to both be a business owner and have insecurities.
  2. You’re a human. Your business might be a business but you’re also a human being – not a robot.
  3. Customers don’t pay you to be perfect, they pay for something handmade and unique.
  4. Others don’t see what you see. The flaws that can seem like is the only thing you can see, might be invisible to others.
  5. You’re not alone. You can be pretty sure that every other crafter is also feeling insecure about themselves and their crafting.
  6. It is not bad or wrong to have insecurities. We learn to treat ourselves how we were treated as children, so if we want to change that we can start by noticing when and how we were critiqued as children and noticing when we start critiquing ourselves now.
  7. “And so what?”. Whatever your worry is, ask yourself: “And so what?”. Usually we build up our fear to being catastrophical, that the crafting community will banish us, that we will never get any customers again, that people will get angry at us for not doing it good enough. But really we are magnifying our fear to try and protect ourselves from what we fear the most.
  8. Be kind to yourself. Imagine that you are a 5 year old child that is making something – that child only needs encouragement – not someone (us) telling them that they are not good enough and that they should do better next time.
  9. If you really do want to be better at your craft, this doesn’t happen with force. But by being in the present, respecting ourselves, taking all the time we need, exploring without judging. resting, complimenting ourselves.
  10. Talk to others. Crafters, friends, business owners, customers – be open about your insecurities and you will notice that other people either don’t care about the things we worry about or they can recognise the same fears that you have. It’s a relief to be open about our insecurities and it’s inspiring to others too.

Have you ever felt low self-esteem about your work/yourself? And what is your best tip to dealing with it?

Leave a comment below!

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How to Grow Your Instagram

… and your sales!


Followers are not everything. I’ve made many sales when I had 500 followers.

What is most important is engagement – how many people like, comments and share your posts and that the people who see your posts are interested in what you’re sharing.

Here I will share with you the tips I’ve used to both grow my following and my engagement on my Instagram account. I’ve gotten 5.000 more followers from January to June of 2020, but I’ve been active on Instagram since February 2017.

The first year I didn’t even use my stories and though I posted regularly I didn’t really have any planning regarding what, when and how I posted.

1. Name
Choose a simple name. Something that is easy to read, remember and write, so that people easily can search for you and quickly identify you.
My first Instagram name was Crochetedtops, which I think was too anonymous. It doesn’t tell me anything other than it’s an account with crochet tops. Then I changed it to Mati_Crochet and later to Mati_Denmark because I wanted to make sure people knew that the products are produced in Denmark.

2. Picture
Either use a picture of your logo or a photo which is easily recognisable – maybe with colors or an outline so people can tell what the picture is, even from just seeing the small icon on their smartphone.

3. Bio
In your bio you can write a few words or sentences either with your slogan, your first name or simply describe what your brand/Instagram is about.
You can also insert a link to your website/where you sell your products and attach an email or address (when you change your account to a professional account).
I’ve changed my bio (and will continue to change it) beause me and my brand changes all the time. It is for me a lot about defining my brand and that is something I think I’m continuing to do, because I have a hard time actually clearly defining what and why I do what I do in a way that makes sense to others as well, the more I keep changing my bio and my “About” page, the more I also figure out in myself where I am going, who I am and what I do.

4. Posts/captions
Post what you like to post. Post regularly and consistently, wether that be once a week or twice a day. Just get into a routine of posting, so people know what and when to expect something from you.
If you feel like writing something, do so. If not, it’s okay to just post a hashtag or an emoji or a few words.
I’ve noticed that long texts often don’t get alot of responses, but engaging with the audience like asking for advice or asking “which picture do you like the best, 1 or 2?” is a great way to get people to engage with your posts.

Sharing you insecurities, post that are not a great quality or doesn’t show your best angle is just as great, to show that you’re human too and not perfect. It gives your audience something to relate to as well.

Your feed doesn’t need to be perfect, with a color scheme, the same filter on every photo or planned all the time. People will feel the authenticity when you just post what you like to post, instead of what you think people want to see.
Play around with it, post whatever you want and see how it makes you feel, what response you get and what you like the best.

I’ve tried to take and post many different photos the past 3 years. This way I’ve found out what photos I like the most: like close-ups, photos in nature, photos focusing more on the clothes rather than the face and photos of customers. And all these are also the most popular posts.

5. Story/highlights
There is really no “right” way to use Instagram stories. Only 1 out of 9 followers watch my stories so I need to keep that in mind, if I have something important to share, this might be better to share in my posts, so more people will see it.
I like to post stories of behind the scenes, inspirational pictures, other peoples posts and also lifestyle photos – like what I’m eating that day or if I’m going somewhere. I like to see the stories as a way to get to know the person behind the Instagram more. The stories is also a great way to post something you sell. I’ve found that posting a layout with multiple items + the price and size of each item is the best way to make sales. But sometimes just posting a photo of a product I have for sale can work just as well.
Stories have so many features that are great for engagement: make a poll, a quiz or ask a question – a good idea is to ask something of your followers, because people always want to share about themselves, so give your followers the opportunity to do so!
I try to only have a few highlights regarding what I know most people are interested in.

6. Engagement
Share others posts that you like.
Repost when someone shares your posts.
Comment on and like the pictures you like. Even if it’s just an emoji.
Respond when someone comments your post.
Make polls, quizzes, ask questions etc. in your stories.

7. Influencers
Offer a free product to an influencer with more followers than you, this way you can get free exposure. Just make sure to find someone that you think can represent what your brand stands for or someone that fits your existing customers/audience.
Write them a short message, asking them if they would like to receive a free product and in return they post a photo with that item to their Instagram (and tag you). This is a great way for new people to notice you!
I’ve used about 4 influencers in my time on Instagram and that has been a great succes and all gotten me multiple sales.

8. Hashtags
I post hashtags to my comment section, so it doesn’t show in my caption. In “Notes” on my smartphone I have saved all the hashtags so I can just copy-paste. I try to use both popular hashtags but also hashtags of the name of my product (like #mirabeltop) and my own hashtags like #matidenmark and #maticrochet (which was my last Instagram name). You can search on google for popular hashtags in your niche.

9. Business Instagram
A great way to track your audience and their behaviour is to change your account from personal to professional and choose which area you work in. This way you can see which posts were saved, liked and engaged with the most. At what time of day your audience is most active, which countries your followers are from and much more. It’s such a game changer, if you want to grow your Instagram and also it just gives a much more professional vibe to your account.
Go to your profile. Click the three lines in the top right corner, click Settings, go to Account, scroll down and there you’ll see: Switch to professional account.

10. Act like you already have a huge following
This tip I got from one of my followers (and one that I also follow: https://www.instagram.com/rosycrochets/) and I thought that tip was so great. Write, post and act like a huge amount of people are already following and seeing your posts, even though your stories and posts only have 10 likes or 10 view, act as if it was 1000. Ask people for advice, share whatever you like, as though a lot of people were there to witness it.
It’s one of the mistakes I’ve made – and still sometimes make – that I forget that people are watching.

And I think this is why I didn’t write that many captions in the beginning, I thought people didn’t care about it or that people weren’t seeing my posts, but making captions and stories where you share what is within you is such a great way to let people really see and know you!